How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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