come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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