I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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