nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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