I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize