All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
