'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Randomize
