I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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