I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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