So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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