no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE