Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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