College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
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you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
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Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.