that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
