Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
