Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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