My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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