your thong is hanging out like whoa
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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