please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
porn star boner night. come get it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
