she was so not down for the gang bang
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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