I puked a lego.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
