sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
