HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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