The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
