God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
