Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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