How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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