Define "chronic" masturbator.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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