3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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