At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
