Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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