We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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