theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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