I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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