I wannas sexs uuuuu
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
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