The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
