they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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