Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
