Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.

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(913): View more from Kansas

checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.

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(417): View more from Missouri

I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.

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(716): View more from New York

Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

I can't answer my phone I'm at work

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities

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(859): View more from Kentucky

it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".

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