You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
only you would photoshop your dick
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
