batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
