Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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