Me too!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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