i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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