I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
