So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
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Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
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I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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