you're like a bully in the Christmas story
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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