now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I could fuck to npr.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
