You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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