How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
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Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
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I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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