Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
