oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
