Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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