So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
