she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
