but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She's the barista slut.
Hippo gnu deer
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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