There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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