She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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