I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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