dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
