Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
