I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
