I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Operation Purity has been aborted
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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