susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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