Four minutes until I can fart!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
