the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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