I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
