3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
