let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
only you would photoshop your dick
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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