So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
